30 Things You Will Never Say At Work - Probably...
- Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
- I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
- I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
- It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
- I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- Do I look like a people person?
- This isn’t an office. It‘s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
- A PBS mind in an MTV world.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.