33 posts tagged “lol”
How else would I have found Altered Barbies, a site which simultaneously celebrates Barbie whilst also altering the shit out of her. Honest to god, really?
Dedicated to NakedBarbieCity who hasn't updated lately. Maybe they got altered?
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The Houses of Parliament and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Brown commented to Darling, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help our images and might even get me re-elected." Darling agreed it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Brown's hand in his right hand and Darling's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Gordon Brown spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Brown. "Amen", said Darling.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
So, this is what my Vox Peeps grew up with? Why did I never have hallucinogenic TV when I was a child? Because this aired sometime between 71 and 77 - I was not watching children's TV then - I was too cool and hip between ages 16 and 23 to be watching "children's television"!
Jacob, 92, and Rebecca, 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds .”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”
Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”
Jacob: “Great! We’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
A foursome of guys are waiting to tee off, while another foursome of women is hitting off from the ladies' tees.
Poor bastard, he never even had a chance to duck!
Winter Driving
It happens to all of us...
I was driving into work this morning peed off and hungover after a good weekend, and this dick in a truck
pulls right out in front of me........
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